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Traditional bridal showers, or wedding showers, are events for women only. The tradition is for friends and family of the bride to get together to "shower" the bride with gifts to help her set up her new home. Today there are many variations of the traditional bridal shower, some are co-ed -- with male and female guests, some have themes, some are formal luncheons while others are informal barbeques.
It is customary for the bridal attendants or close friends of the bride to throw the bridal shower. It is considered bad manners for immediate family members to host the shower, it makes it seem as if the family is asking for gifts for the bride. Typically, the Maid or Matron of Honor is responsible for throwing the bridal shower. The bride's only involvement should be to provide the hostess with names and addresses of those she would like to invite and to give the hostess an idea of the type of shower she would like to have. The bride should never have to be involved in the planning and preparations of her shower, she has enough to do with planning the wedding.
The bride's family may offer to pay for some or all of the costs of the bridal shower, but typically it is the responsibility of the hostess and the bridal party to cover the shower expenses. Your first step in planning a successful shower is to determine a budget - the budget may determine how elaborate your shower can be. After your budget is set, you should decide on what type of party will be best for the budget and most pleasing for the bride. For instance, if the bride hates the outdoors, you wouldn't want to throw her an outdoor barbeque!
The Guest List
If you are planning a traditional all female shower, you should invite all the women who are being invited to the wedding, including family members of the groom. If you are having a co-ed shower, you should invite all men that are close to the bride and groom as well. Obviously, the larger the wedding's guest list, the larger the shower's guest list will be.
Occasionally, if the wedding list is large, the bride may have several showers. She may have one for family and close friends, and another for co-workers and business associates.
Inviting the Guests
Bridal showers can be held anywhere from two months to two weeks prior to the wedding. The invitations should be sent three weeks before the event. Invitations may be hand written or ordered from a printer, depending on the formality of the shower. The hostess may also wish to include a list of your home decorating colors with the invitations, but should never ask for specific gifts. If the bride has registered for wedding gifts, the place she registered with may have provided her with small cards to insert in her shower invitations, it is fine to include these cards or to mention where the bride is registered. Never ask for cash, this is considered rude!
If you wish to have the guests RSVP, you should include stamped, self-addressed reply cards. If you haven't received a reply from all guests one week prior to the event, you should call them to inquire if they will be attending.
The Menu
The menu can vary a great deal. You may choose to have appetizers and snack foods or a formal catered luncheon. For informal non-catered events, some good menu choices are vegetable platters, finger sandwiches, chips and dip, hot wings and other snack foods. No matter what menu items you choose, you should make sure that you have a variety of beverages for your guests.
The Games
You should plan between two and four games, depending on the number of guests at the shower. The more guests you have, the longer it will take to play each game. Try to limit your game time, guests typically lose interest after two games – you don't want to bore them. There are numerous books on game ideas at your book store or library or you could search the Internet for some fun games. Never plan any games that would embarrass the bride or any other guests.
The hostess should purchase several small gifts to be awarded as prizes to the winner of each game. Sometimes, the winners give the prizes to the bride. You may also wish to hand out door prizes!
Opening the Gifts
As the bride is opening her gifts, the hostess or one of the bridal attendants should write down each item that she receives and who gave the gift. Another bridesmaid may gather the bows and ribbons from her gifts to make into a bouquet that is normally used as the bride's bouquet during her wedding rehearsal. At some showers, the hostess will write down all the comments the bride makes while opening her gifts. The comments are then read back to her at the end of the shower and can be neatly written and placed in her wedding book as a keepsake. Don't tell the bride that you are writing down what she is saying – you want her genuine comments!
The hostess should plan out how the day will proceed. Normally, she should allow sufficient time for all guests to arrive, allowing them to mingle and chat as they wait for the party to begin. You may choose to have them eat first or just serve an appetizer and beverages to arriving guests. Be sure to greet each guest and make them feel welcome. Instruct them where they should place the presents and where they can hang their coats and purses. Once all guests have arrived, you should begin playing the shower games. After the games, if your guests didn't eat at the beginning of the party, now is a good time to break and allow everyone to eat. Once meal time is over, it is time for the bride to open her gifts. Remember to have someone write down all the gifts so that the bride will be able to properly thank all gift givers for their presents. After the gifts are opened, the guests should be allowed some time to mingle and talk to the bride before the conclusion of the party.
By following these general guidelines, you will be ensured a successful bridal shower!
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